Some degree of stress in our lives is normal and helps to motivate us to achieve our goals. We may develop bad habits to deal with prolonged or excessive stress, such as consuming too much caffeine, smoking, becoming emotional overeaters, drinking too much alcohol, or becoming shopaholics. It takes more than willpower to change negative habits. Take the following steps to change them effectively so that you will not get discouraged.

* Tackle only one bad habit at a time. Focus on changing that one bad habit until you are sure that you have permanently removed it, replacing it with a positive one. This occurs when the behavior has become automatic, a process which may take more than 60 days.

* Repeat the new behavior regularly. We are creatures of habit, so repeating the behavior at the same time every day helps. If you schedule a regular time on your calendar for exercise, you will be more likely to be successful. Maintain a predictable routine.

* Make smaller goals and focus on your progress. Be realistic about what you can do and start with a smaller goal, increasing it once you know you can do more. Focus on your progress, and keep track of your accomplishments.

* Plan how to reach your goal. Write down your goal and refer to it often. Put sticky notes on the medicine cabinet in the bathroom or use phone alerts. Block out time on your calendar for when you want to perform your new habit until it becomes second nature. Pack a change of clothes before you leave for work to go to the gym straight from work.

* Replace your triggers and obstacles with something else. If you get a strong urge to eat unhealthy food, eat some grapes or a handful of almonds instead, breathe deeply, drink water, call a friend, or go for a walk outside. Don’t buy food you need to avoid.

* Get support. Call a friend or hire a coach. Use an online support system to help you to stay on track, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Spenders Anonymous, Weight Watchers, or private Facebook groups.

* Try to stay positive. If you should mess up, forgive yourself immediately and try again. Be kind to yourself and don’t give up on reaching your goal. Treat yourself as you would a good friend.

* Focus on only what is within your control. Take pride in your efforts instead of focusing only on the results. Your goal may take longer to reach than you thought it would, but if you are doing everything that you possibly can, that is all that you can ask of anyone.

* Reward yourself for changing a bad habit, just not with food. Decide beforehand what your reward is going to be. Small rewards, like a hot soak in the tub with a fashion magazine or a pedicure can help to boost your self-esteem.

* Reduce stress while changing habits. You will be more likely to succeed if you eat a healthy diet, stay hydrated, get enough rest, exercise at least three or four times per week, listen to uplifting music, and spend time outdoors. Stop multi-tasking, as that increases stress. Take frequent breaks throughout the day to get up from your desk stretch, and breathe deeply. Massage, aromatherapy, prayer, meditation, and a daily gratitude practice will also help to reduce stress.

Rosemary Lombardy is a financial advisor with over 35 years of experience and domestic abuse survivor. She is the founder of Breaking Bonds, a free resource for abused women, and author of "Breaking Bonds: How to Divorce an Abuser and Heal- A Survival Guide."