3 Steps to Make Resolutions Stick

life advice

3 Steps to Make Resolutions Stick
Forget your New Year's resolutions and use these three steps to make the changes you want last a lifetime.
BY JACKIE BLACK, PH.D.

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You don't have to wish for change, you can make it happen with the proper steps.

“ Relationships can tolerate and accommodate changes if and when the two of you are included in the process. Sit down and tell your spouse exactly what you want to change.”

How are your New Year's Resolutions going? Are you successfully achieving your goals? Or have you failed already? If you are in the miniscule percentage of people who are successfully achieving your goals, congratulations!

For everyone else, don't give it a second thought if you have already failed and have decided, "To heck with that stuff anyway!"

New Year's Resolutions are a set-up for failure. Changing anything in life when you do so with intention is hard enough, never mind trying to change something based on faulty thinking and faulty planning.

Here's a simple three-step formula to make any change you wish in your life:

1. Decide what behavior you want to change or goal you want to achieve. Carefully craft a statement about one or two benefits that will come as a result of changing this behavior or achieving this goal. How will your life be enriched or improved if you change this behavior or achieve this goal?

2. Make a list of the relevant steps necessary to attain this goal. Be sure to include short-term, mid-term and long-term milestones so you can feel good about all the tiny wins you will have on your way to making this change or achieving this goal.

3. Be sure to include two or three strategies that you are planning to employ. Also include two or three special people who will be your cheerleaders and support you through this time of change.

Relationships can tolerate and accommodate changes if and when the two of you are included in the process. Sit down and tell your spouse exactly what you want to change. Include all the benefits you expect to enjoy and what they can anticipate from these changes.

Tell your spouse who is on your cheerleader team. Be specific about the role of each person. Ask them for any feedback or for any support you need from him or her.

This is the recipe for successful life change, not just a New Year's Resolution that may last for an hour or a day. Make the changes you desire for a lifetime. Remember, only you can make it happen!

Is it time to repair and revitalize your marriage? Dr. Jackie Black, international relationship expert, educator, author and coach, offers advice, information, and support to couples in trouble and couples facing illness so they can rebuild and restore the closeness in their relationships and live their best life and love life together. Subscribe to Dr. Jackie's free monthly Relationship Tip Sheet and read about Dr. Jackie's coaching services at www.DrJackieBlack.com. Watch for Dr. Jackie’s new books Couples and Money: Cracking the code to ending the #1 conflict in marriage, and People Talking: Cracking the code to being understood.

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