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10 things
Tim and DoreenIn 2004, these psychiatrists embarked on a one-year road trip traveling the country in a converted bus. Tim Justice and Doreen Orion are now celebrating 11 years of marriage and the upcoming release of their book, "Leave the Driving to Him."
Courtesy of Tim and Doreen
A candid shot of Tim Justice and Doreen Orion at one of their many stops. |
DOREEN
Driving cross-country with my spouse taught me…
(1) Humor can be injected into almost any situation and is incredibly healing.
(2) Everything is replaceable, except my husband. We had a lot of disasters on the road, including a fire in the bus, a flood, getting stuck in the mud and an armed robbery. All that taught me was things aren't important and what really makes me happy aren't my possessions but my marriage.
(3) Even after so many years of being together, there are still things we can learn from each other.
(4) To be honest. Sometimes I'd try to hide things from Tim like when I developed a bus phobia. Since he did all the driving, I thought that would upset him, but as soon as I confided in him, I felt better.
(5) If you're doing something together that you're not crazy about, but he is, you can find your own pleasure in watching his pleasure.
(6) To make your feelings known. If there was something I really didn't want to do, it was much better to let Tim know than go along and ruin the day for us both.
(7) To learn how to work within each other's schedules. I like to work out in the mornings, which always delayed our days. So, I learned to get up a little early to do my workouts while Tim was getting the bus ready or doing other things in the morning.
(8) To be open to new experiences. You bring more to a marriage the more you do. I found as my horizons expanded on the trip, I had more to talk about and more excitement to bring.
(9) Dinner time is sacred. We used to warm up a TV dinner and watch the news. During our trip, Tim would cook and I would sit and watch—and maybe help a little—and we'd talk, and then have dinner together with music on.
(10) To take time to dance. After dinner, we always did.
TIM
Driving cross-country with my spouse taught me…
(1) To have patience with Doreen. At first, we had so many disasters. I had to learn to be patient while she freaked out.
(2) To compromise as we are so different. Particularly, I like outdoorsy stuff and Doreen doesn't, so I figured out how to take her on short hikes or include outdoor activities that allowed her ample photography time, as she enjoys that hobby.
(3) To not make assumptions. I was pleasantly surprised that Doreen was willing to try things I assumed she wouldn't because I thought I knew by now what she liked and didn't like.
(4) To speak up. I figured out that Doreen can't read my mind, so if a situation was bothering me, it was important to say so and not let it fester.
(5) To be independent. It was okay for Doreen to not like the things I like. Things would work out even when we each did things independently.
(6) To be a kid again. Sometimes I would be reluctant to do kid things like go to amusement parks and water parks, but Doreen has no qualms about that, so I learned that a married couple being kids together is a great way to have fun and refresh a marriage.
(7) To make sure chores are divided evenly and be willing to do things you wouldn't normally do. Doreen was the one who worked while we were on the road, so I took over the cooking and all the other household chores. I learned to love cooking—and I still do it.
(8) To be sensitive to family situations and issues of your spouse. We each try to be sensitive to the other when they are around family and there is some stress.
(9) That guys always want to do together, whereas girls want to be together. I learned how much fun just being together can be.
(10) To try taking an interest in some of the things your spouse is interested in. I did, and found it rewarding.
Driving cross-country with my spouse taught me…
(1) Humor can be injected into almost any situation and is incredibly healing.
(2) Everything is replaceable, except my husband. We had a lot of disasters on the road, including a fire in the bus, a flood, getting stuck in the mud and an armed robbery. All that taught me was things aren't important and what really makes me happy aren't my possessions but my marriage.
(3) Even after so many years of being together, there are still things we can learn from each other.
(4) To be honest. Sometimes I'd try to hide things from Tim like when I developed a bus phobia. Since he did all the driving, I thought that would upset him, but as soon as I confided in him, I felt better.
(5) If you're doing something together that you're not crazy about, but he is, you can find your own pleasure in watching his pleasure.
(6) To make your feelings known. If there was something I really didn't want to do, it was much better to let Tim know than go along and ruin the day for us both.
(7) To learn how to work within each other's schedules. I like to work out in the mornings, which always delayed our days. So, I learned to get up a little early to do my workouts while Tim was getting the bus ready or doing other things in the morning.
(8) To be open to new experiences. You bring more to a marriage the more you do. I found as my horizons expanded on the trip, I had more to talk about and more excitement to bring.
(9) Dinner time is sacred. We used to warm up a TV dinner and watch the news. During our trip, Tim would cook and I would sit and watch—and maybe help a little—and we'd talk, and then have dinner together with music on.
(10) To take time to dance. After dinner, we always did.
TIM
Driving cross-country with my spouse taught me…
(1) To have patience with Doreen. At first, we had so many disasters. I had to learn to be patient while she freaked out.
(2) To compromise as we are so different. Particularly, I like outdoorsy stuff and Doreen doesn't, so I figured out how to take her on short hikes or include outdoor activities that allowed her ample photography time, as she enjoys that hobby.
(3) To not make assumptions. I was pleasantly surprised that Doreen was willing to try things I assumed she wouldn't because I thought I knew by now what she liked and didn't like.
(4) To speak up. I figured out that Doreen can't read my mind, so if a situation was bothering me, it was important to say so and not let it fester.
(5) To be independent. It was okay for Doreen to not like the things I like. Things would work out even when we each did things independently.
(6) To be a kid again. Sometimes I would be reluctant to do kid things like go to amusement parks and water parks, but Doreen has no qualms about that, so I learned that a married couple being kids together is a great way to have fun and refresh a marriage.
(7) To make sure chores are divided evenly and be willing to do things you wouldn't normally do. Doreen was the one who worked while we were on the road, so I took over the cooking and all the other household chores. I learned to love cooking—and I still do it.
(8) To be sensitive to family situations and issues of your spouse. We each try to be sensitive to the other when they are around family and there is some stress.
(9) That guys always want to do together, whereas girls want to be together. I learned how much fun just being together can be.
(10) To try taking an interest in some of the things your spouse is interested in. I did, and found it rewarding.
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